Struggling has only gotten me in this cycle of pain and love. Every time I try to pull away from T she comes running for me. And every time I try to make this relationship work she runs. So for now. I think I am just gonna let it be. She has decided to cancel her Face Book and not text as often. Already I feel so much calmer. With out her indecisive nonstop plans and game changes in my ear. I think that with out us connected by our cell phones all day every day this will pass. Or change in some way. I feel we are drifting apart and at the moment that is fine with me. I can smile and laugh right now. Something I have not been doing much latly.

I was thinking this morning about qualities I want in a friend right now. And my Allen kept coming to mind. As soon as I got to work there he was on my FB saying he misses me and misses New Orleans. It would be so wonderful to have him back here. Start a closer friendship with him. He is the most down to earth gay man I have ever met.