I feel like I am going crazy. I can t focus on anything. I am angry and irrational.

This woman drives me. I so rarely get angry and lately I am angry all the time. She is so wishy washy some times. I don't think she understands the concept of boundaries.

I feel used, betrayed and cheated on. And I have no right because I am the mistress. No matter how often she tells me I am not. Until she is out of his house I am.

This is the only place i have to say this stuff.

I ran away from work the other day and went to the pool. It was so nice. No one knew where I was. Put my head phones in and laied in the sun. I am defiantly doing that again soon with more water and some wine or something in my bag.

A friend wants to go to this place called the country club. Its a clothing optional pool in the back of a restaurant and bar. Almost all gay men and a few fag hags thrown in. Go drink Martinis and lay in the sun all day sounds so wonderfull.