i dont understang anger

or pesamisum, or holding grudges, get the fuck over it because that negativity in you is going to courupt your soul.

i understand depression, and there is nothing you can do about that, you can try and be happy, but some times your body and mind cant be changed you just have to ride it out.

but why get all upset over somthing you cant controle like bad drivers, why snap at people that just makes them snap back, please be kind to the wait staff at resteraunts, if you think they are giveing bad service think, maybe they are short handed and over worked, maby your demands are abit extreem.

oh and if somone hurt you years ago. let go of it. you cant know their side of the story, you are probably missing pieses of the puzzle. and some times people are just shitty, you cant do a god dam thing about it. thats all.

dear friend

when i think of you, or see a picture of you, the first thing that comes to me is the way you smelled, i don't know how to discribe this smell, but i know that in this fragrance, was the smell of spray fixer, and chyanne peppers. you always hid from the world, and even from me. i wonder some times, as anyone ever really known you? has anyone seen or touched you soul. i know you are afraid, afraid of being venerable and of being hurt, but you have to open up or you soul might die out of loneliness. i miss you so much some times. the you that you were when we were alone, the you you were in Colorado those crisp fall days. you seemed lighter then, i know that you hide your beauty, i don't know why, but do understand it. but i wish you would let some one see it. the type of beauty you cant fake. like getting caught in a rain storm, make up washed away, hair the way it wants to be. once in a while i use to see this you. when it was hot and late at night, whey we were the only ones wake in the world. when you slept. and when you cooked. i feel blessed that i got to see a part of you that i don't thinks shows much at all, and i wonder how many people have gotten to see this you. I pray that there are people who you trust enough to just be you.

love always,
Emelee

my sweet andie,

im starting to wonder if i will ever see you again. its been so long, and i cant always picture your face anymore. I have stopped searching the crowd for your face, now i just look for anyone who is familiar. i know so few people here now, i think i could count them all on my hands. Are you here, is this what i was sent to find, or are you just simply a dream. Im losing faith in not only you, but large chunks of the world around me. as awful and scary as this sounds, we know that it may not be a bad thing, im letting you go, and felling so much more human then ever before.i pray that i see you again, even its just in my dreams to tell me you will never be here.i just need my answer.

breath deep tonight,
dominica

negativity

only makes you more angry, which only makes you less happy, its not worth getting mad over. nothing is. anger is just fear turned in ward.

if you are angry, stop and think, who is really being the ass whole in this situation. take some fucking responsibility for your own actions. the world would be a much better place if there were more respect in it. and ya gotta give to get baby.

i cant help it if im an optimist, i don't want to be another way, so here i go positive, positive, positive. and maby it will rub off.

hello im jay and this is my hetero life mate silent bob.

yes this is me and my jeana, hetero life mates well sorta. more like non sexual life mates, because the word hetero is no where in anything that describes me.

just talking more than anything, but what happens when i meet someone i want to have as a real life mate? she is so dam determined that she will never meat a nice guy, mostly because her record speaks for its self in this area. cough cough, mate you are a mother fucker.

but im still hoping to fall in love and find someone to build a life with. i need sex in my life, and not any more one night stanges thats all over and done with, but loving sex with someone i can talk to. i don't think this is an unreasonable request in my life, and i will figure out how to get it.

but when i do do i sy good by to my silent bob? how dose that work out?

i gues that is ust one more thing ill figure out when i get there.

felling a bit insecure

i dont believe i deserve love.

im at the moment trying to be good and lose some weight. but the more i lose the worse i feel about myself. i was such a confadent fat girl, i loved my body and didntt care what other people thought. it was a blissfull felling. ine that i havent had a whole lot in my life. but somthing happend, and i decided to lose the weight. im not sure what that some thing was. i started weight watchers with my boss and my mom, from there i ended up changing jobs, quiting that job and now im moving.. all of this wouldent have happend if i hadent decided to lose the weight.

i trust the univerce everything happens for a reason.

now i feel fat, 20 lbs thinner i feel fatter, go figure. but i have no will power right now to work out, and my diet is faltering a bit. im not sure what to do. ride it out. thats all i can think to do

my wife

yes i love her, no we are not lesbians, just roommates, but mother fucker she can be such a nag. and patronizing. talk down to me just a little more baby, make me sound like a retarded 8 year old one more time, i swear i will knock you on your ass.