Now that my life is my own again, its time to get it back under control. Get my house clean and my psyche, and eating habits back in check. I gave away a book that i very much want to read again. I suppose its time to buy it again. It is worth it.

Vanessa is a drugged up mess, it makes me sad the fact that me friend has killed her personality. the person i cared about with drugs. The face is still there, the girl is gone.

Thank god for the friends I have. I am very very lucky and I know that. Some day they will be closer. But as for now i am content.

I hate feeling out of control. To start I already have speech problems, and then the other night i had a few drinks, and poof there goes my control. I end up speaking backwards, skipping bits and pieces. I know it just comes off as i am more drunk then I actual am. That makes me feel stupid too. More then anything I hate to feel stupid, and less then I know I am.