i know you think im strong, and you respect my courage. i know these are some of the reasons you love me, but im so afraid. im afraid that i will never find love because of my courage. because of my independence. i wonder if these quality's make me unlovable. make me less attractive. i am a fighter, it has taken everything i am to get to where i am, my road was not easy and never will be, i wouldn't want it to be. i know i can make it on my oun but i don't want to. i want love, i want this partnership that everyone around me is looking for finding or has found.
the only people who have expressed interest in sharing the rest of their lives wiht me, are friends, you want to spend the rest of your life wiht me, but as friend, my sister wants to grow old with me. is it awful of me to want anyone just to say i will always be with you. no matter if its a friend a sister, or a lover.
But how do you say to someone. will you commit to be with me for the rest of our lives, when there is nothing more then friendship
how do you say, will you be my companion, never leave me, and not have them think you want sex.
but i think i do want more then that, i want intamasy, i want more then to share my life with just a friend. i want to build a life, with some one.
i don't know if i could love you. i do love you, as the friend you are to me but i don't think i could e in love with you.
i pray to be everything you see me to be some day.
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